Day 05 — Something you hope to do in your life.

Fun!

I could make this post paragraphs and paragraphs long. There are a whole lot of somethings I hope to do in my life. I’ve got a bucket list that just keeps on growing. It occurs to me that I’m 40, and that I better get moving on some of the items!

The latest idea to make my list, though, is to ride in a hot air balloon. For some reason, I never had the desire to go hundreds of feet up in the air secured only inside a bucket fueled by a hot flame. Lately I’ve been rethinking my (previously sane) position on hot air balloon rides. I want to do it! I want to experience the exhilaration and thrill. I want Connor to take amazing photographs of my brightly colored balloon against a crystal blue sky as I grow smaller and smaller in his cross-hairs, waving like a fool all the while. And I want to feel the sweet earth beneath me as I come back down to greet it, safely ensconced in my wicker basket. :-)

I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to maintain a program of recovery to keep abstaining from all those sick behaviors I engaged in for so many years. I’ve got a very powerful Higher Power and an incredible network of friends who are walking this path with me. Together, we’ve all made it possible.

I treated myself with extra care today just as a way to commemorate and also as a reminder that today I need to always practice self care. Here’s a list of things I did:

• Finally broke out that Free Drink card at Starbucks on my way to work – Decaf Venti Americano, baby!
• Prayed and read from my daily meditation book
• Savored my breakfast and lunch, relishing how much I truly do enjoy the tastes of my nutritious food
• Brewed myself some Seattle’s Best Organic Twilight Decaf in the French press this afternoon (apparently coffee is a treat for me!)
• Called someone who is struggling with alcohol on my way home from work
• Made dinner for me and the boys (Rob had to work late) and enjoyed the dinner conversation with them
• Made breakfast for Rob & I for the last day of the week (we did 4 days already on Sunday)
• Packed my breakfast and lunch for work tomorrow
• Took a long, long, long hot shower
• Gave myself a hot oil treatment on my hair
• Put my pajamas in the dryer before putting them on. Bliss.
• Slathered moisturizer on my face & neck
• Loved on my doggie

I also plan on taking myself to bed early to read a bit before going to sleep because I need to get up earlier than normal.

Here’s to another 7+ years of continued recovery from alcoholism and compulsive eating… and all the rewards that come with those things. I never knew life could be so happy, joyous, and free!

First was a random guy at the PodCamp Philly conference. I was talking to him after a session and he asked what I did (for a living). I briefly explained my role and as I handed him my business card he said, “So being beautiful is just a part time job for you? It looks like you’re doing it full time.” Hahahahahaha! I still don’t know how I kept a straight face after he said that.

And last night Aric plopped himself down on the couch and promptly declared, “A girl looks her best on the 1st day of school. If she doesn’t look good on the 1st day, forget her because she is going to look AWFUL by the 2nd week.” Apparently there was a middle schooler he had his sights set on who went steadily downhill in the looks department since that first day of school.

Now, tell me something that made you laugh this week.

The doctor gave me a copy of my blood test results – she was blown away by the numbers. When I told her that I don’t eat sugar, flour, wheat, or caffeine she said those things definitely explained my results. Here are some of the numbers:

Triglycerides: 43
Total Cholesterol: 124
HDL Cholesterol: 58
LDL Cholesterol: 57
Glucose: 76
Sodium: 142
Potassium: 3.8
Chloride: 109
Carbon Dioxide: 25
Calcium: 8.5
Protein: 6.2

I didn’t know that things like potassium, chloride, and carbon dioxide were even tested. I’m not sure what it means if these levels don’t fall with normal ranges, either. The one concern she mentioned was that my calcium is a bit low. This makes sense since I don’t eat dairy, save for the recently incorporated clarified butter. I am working on getting the dairy back into my food plan slowly, and will get this re-checked in a month. There were two other items that showed up “out of range” (on the low side) and they were my total cholesterol – which she assured me was a very good thing – and my platelets – which she didn’t mention. I need to research what that means, if anything.

It felt good to be able to answer her questions in a healthy way. “Do you smoke?” – No. “How much alcohol do you consume?” – None. The only thing that I need to work on is being able to say, “Yes, regularly!” to the “Do you exercise?” question. So now that I’ve been given a clean bill of health aside from my neck and shoulder pain from the accident, I should be due to get hit by a bus any day now.

As far as my neck and shoulders go – she said it’s normal to still be in pain two weeks after the fact. If I’m still in pain in 2 more weeks, then she will send me to physical therapy. Here’s hoping that doesn’t have to happen.

This was the first mammogram I’ve ever had, and I was pleasantly surprised with the experience. I’ve heard so many horror stories about the amount of pain inflicted by the machine, so I was scared. However, aside from a small amount of pressure, it wasn’t painful at all for me. I guess since my boobs are basically just lumps of skin that get miraculously held up by my bra, there isn’t a lot of actual tissue to serve as a pain receptor. I shall complain about my sagging granny boobs no longer. Okay, maybe just a little less.

The vacation ended on a much better note than the one I last left. After that post, the music came to town. Thursday night was Southside Johnny & The Asbury Jukes and they really brought their A game. I’ve never seen a concert where the band played continuously for 2 hours, pausing only to interact with the audience for a few moments at most. Not only were they untiring, but they were also extremely tight – Johnny would hum a bar or two and the rest of the band immediately went into a flawless rendition of each song. If you get a chance to see these guys, take it!

By Friday my neck and shoulders were feeling better and the sun came out! We spent about an hour or so in the ocean and it was beautiful. Of course, 1/2 hour after we got in the water, the clouds started rolling in; we stayed as long as we could and got out just in time. As we were walking up the beach to our condo, the rain started. It was kind of funny to see everyone leaving the beach en masse. After we got back to our apartment and changed, Rob, Connor, and I were playing a game of Uno when Aric told us there was a rainbow over the beach. He wasn’t kidding – this was one of the most amazing rainbows I’ve ever seen in my life. It was a small rainbow – spanning just the width of our condominium building and little more – but that was part of why it was so spectacular. And after a few minutes, a double rainbow appeared.

I took about 20 pictures of this rainbow because I really felt it was signifying a change for the better for us. Maybe I’m a dreamer, but I’ll take what I can get. Here are some more rainbow pics [don't worry, I didn't upload them all].

Friday night was the first night of the Verizon Wireless American Music Festival where a number of bands play in 3-4 different locations all along the beachfront. We chose to see The Influence and The BoDeans. Rob and I both really enjoyed The Influence. They’re a local Virginia Beach band with a heavy Pearl Jam influence. The BoDeans were sharp as anything – I don’t think a single person missed a note or a space in any song. They entertained the heck out of the crowd, but the crowd proved to be too much for us. It was hot – no ocean breeze blowing – and people were getting drunker and stupider by the minute. We decided to leave and walked down to catch the end of Starship’s performance. We were both glad we picked the concert we did because from what we heard of Starship, we weren’t impressed at all.

Saturday night was the Billy Idol concert that we planned on going to, but ended up not getting there. We were just tired and wore out and not in the mood for dealing with a huge, drunken crowd again. We did some last minute shopping for souvenirs and gifts with my mom then listened to a couple of songs from Eddie Money and Warrant. Both were equally bad. Embarrassingly bad. The cool thing was that as we walked down Atlantic Avenue between 24th and 31st street, we heard Billy Idol’s opening song, “Eyes Without a Face” – his stage was all the way down on 5th street! I can’t imagine how loud that concert must have been up close. Rob already blew an ear drum at the Southside Johnny concert, so he would have been in no shape to handle the sheer volume of Billy Idol. I’m still a little bummed that we didn’t make it, though. From what we heard in the distance, he sounded awesome. I need to look for some reviews and pictures of that concert online – I know they must exist.

We came home on Sunday and I think it’s safe to say that everyone – kids included – were ready to be homeward bound. I’ll write more details and post more pics of the trip in the coming days. This post is long enough. I’ll leave you with one of my favorite photos from the trip – view it in large size for complete awesomeness.

My laptop is coming with and I plan on updating Twitter & Flickr via my cell, so you can follow along if you like. I’ll probably do a full recap once I get back. Let the good times roll, baby!

You all will never guess what happened on Thursday. I was sitting on my couch in my pajamas, it was already around 11:30 in the morning and I was just planning on taking it real easy my first day of being laid off when the phone rang. It was my boss. She said, “Do you want to come back and help us close this place down?” I said, “Are you kidding me???”

Apparently there was some web stuff that the owner needed done and he asked Rob why it wasn’t being done. Rob said to him, “Um, because you laid off Amy???” The owner was like, “What? No! She shouldn’t have been let go! Can you get her to come back in??” So I was mistakenly laid off early. Is that a trip or what? Which meant I had to get up and get dressed and stuff to go into work Thursday afternoon. Good times.

In the meantime, I was also working with three different recruiters as well as a couple of other prospects, one of which asked to see my portfolio. Portfolio??? Ha! I had nothing of the sort, so I had to put that together. It was hard finding a few of the things that I had worked on over the years to give screen shots. And after I completed it I realized I had at least 2 more things I could have added to it before sending. I guess the next company will get to see those, if need be.

Everything is so surreal right now. Going into the office is like walking through a ghost town with all the empty offices and cubicles – and the few remaining employees’ office contents are all boxed up, too. It’s weird to be at work and openly talking about the job search. “Did you get any calls today on your resume?” “I’ve got an interview!” “Oh, be right back, this is a recruiter calling!” Strange days, indeed.

I’ve got my first interview on Monday at 10 am. I didn’t have a suit in my size since the last time I had to wear business attire was 3 or 4 years ago and I’ve lost probably 20-30 pounds since then. Thankfully my mom’s next door neighbor is an expert seamstress and has time to alter the suit for me. I ran it over to New Jersey last night and got fitted so I won’t look completely frumpy on Monday. I haven’t been on in interview in over 8 years. I’m nervous! But, I’m also really, really, really excited. Having been in the position of interviewing lots of people for jobs over the past 5 years, I think I have a fair shot at this. But, wish me luck anyway, okay? What I really want is to have a few different jobs to choose from so I can make the best choice for me. I want these employers fighting over me, damn it! And they should. Because, well, I rock. HA!

Stay tuned.

1 – Cost. It will cost approximately 200K to build there, including digging for septic and wall water. While that is a great price, we want to move there and not maintain the same lifestyle we’re leading now with both of us working full time.

2 – Internet and cell phone connectivity. Catawba, Virginia is pretty remote which means the closest cell towers are about 15-20 miles away. Since this is mountainous territory, the signals from the towers in neighboring Blacksburg and Roanoke don’t always provide enough signal strength.

3 – Connor doesn’t want to move.

Well, I just discovered something that might be an answer to the first two stumbling blocks. My family and I have talked about how to get a cell phone tower on their property, but none of us had any idea what to do to make that happen. Enter the Wireless Landlord Association. They are an advocacy group that can help us secure a lease with one of the big cell phone companies like AT&T, Sprint, and T-Mobile. With their free promotional and marketing support, we’d be more attractive to the cell phone companies. Since we’re so uneducated about this whole venture, the Association could also be a great source of information to help us from start to finish.

I’m not sure they can provide much help where are third stumbling block is concerned, though. How do you convince a teenager that moving away from all of his friends is a great idea, anyway?

I realized last night as I was trying to drift off to sleep that I do have so much to be grateful for in my life. I need to focus on those things, and not give such life to all the fear and negativity. I’ve got a roof over my head, food – good, healthy and sometimes expensive food at that – in my kitchen, a family that loves me to pieces, friends that adore me, a job that pays well, a car that gives me joy to drive, a relationship with a Higher Power that provides me intense comfort, a closet full of totally cute clothes, and all the creature comforts I could ask for. I could sit here and list things for hours, I’m sure. The point is, my life is good – damn good. And no matter what happens at my current place of employment, I’m going to be just fine. Better than fine, even. I’m going to be spectacular!