Dear Spammy Commenters,

Please stop commenting on my blog just to get a link back to your site. If you’re not here because you’re genuinely interested in me and my life, that’s fine, but don’t leave meaningless comments to commemorate your visit. Just move along. I will not publish your spammy comment, and even if I did - this blog is no longer a “Do-Follow” blog, so you wouldn’t get any link juice from your inane comment anyway. And for those of you who think you’re clever and thereby exempt from this, I have news for you: you’re not nearly as clever as you think. Your comments suck, too.

I now have about 100 comments in moderation from the likes of all of you and it’s getting really old. Please do me and the rest of the blogosphere a favor and knock it the hell off.

Much love,

Amy

Well, the unthinkable (and some might say - inevitable) happened today: my company announced it is closing its doors January 4th, and I was laid off. Since I’m the Internet Marketing Manager, there really isn’t a big need for my position as they close up shop. Rob and my sister (yes, we all worked there!) will remain there until the end, helping them liquidate all of their supplies.

I’m remarkably okay with the events of the day. Sure, there is an underlying feeling of fear, but I’m concentrating on not focusing on that. I’ve got a lot of irons in the fire and I’m confident that I will land on my feet. Perhaps something even better will come along! I’ve got an impressive skill set and resume thanks to the last 8 years at this company, and any new company will be lucky to have me.

Some of the positives right now are that I’ll be able to be home with the kids on their holiday break, I’ll get to finally go visit my friend and her triplets that were born in September that I haven’t had a chance to see yet, I’ll be able to get to daytime meetings, I’ll be able to get some much-needed exercise and meditation time in, I’ll be able to decorate and wrap for Christmas without stressing over the lack of time to get it all done. I’m going to enjoy these last few weeks of December in the hopes that I’ll look back on this experience with fondness.

All that doesn’t mean I’m not filled with an overwhelming sadness, though. I am so sad. So sad. I loved my job. I loved my boss. I loved what I did. I loved my office. I loved the people I worked with every day. I loved the short commute. I loved the flexibility I was afforded. I loved all of it. Sure, there were rough days and there was a pervading sickness in the company’s high-level management, but I was able to get past all that because of my love for the day-to-day things. I will miss that job. Hopefully when I’ve moved on to my next career choice, though, I will realize that I should have left long ago and I won’t hardly miss it at all.

I’m remaining positive - for today, at least. There might very well be an entry here tomorrow where I’m freaking out. I’m told my emotions are going to be all over the map for the foreseeable future. I guess that’s your fair warning!

I went to the dentist today for my regular 6 month checkup. I was anxious to get in because of the teeth sensitivity problem I’ve been having. Unfortunately, neither the dental hygienist nor the dentist saw much of anything that could be the cause. One thing the hygienist noticed was my teeth being flat. She asked if I was a tooth grinder or clencher.

Now, I didn’t say anything to her because I was kind of embarrassed, but I’ll tell the Internet. Makes sense, no?

I have this thing that I do when I pet and love on any animals, and sometimes even my kids. I clench my mouth shut and grind my teeth together the whole time I’m petting these little loved ones of mine. I thought that everyone did this, like it was just a thing all humans did… but when I mentioned it to Aric, he looked at me like I was kind of crazy. What say you? Do you grind your teeth down when you’re petting animals? I can’t figure out why I do it, but I apparently pet Grace all.the.freaking time because I am constantly catching myself grinding these days - and it hurts! I’ve got to find a way to stop. Help!

I’ve got a full-blown urinary tract infection. Weee! It came on so suddenly, too! I went to the bathroom in the late afternoon and noticed a very slight burning towards the end and I thought, “Oh man, I hope I’m not getting a UTI.” I went on to enjoy the family at my dad’s birthday celebration, but, not even an hour later, I was on the road to major pain, complete with aches and pains and general malaise. I went to the drug store to buy some cranberry pills and look for anything else that I could buy to help, but didn’t find much. We went home earlier than usual from the party because I felt so ill, and the entire ride was sheer agony. I almost peed my pants before I made it in the door, too. The whole time I kept thinking that I couldn’t believe how fast it all happened.

I went to the bathroom as soon as we walked in and Rob came to the door as I was crying out in pain. He I might have to go the ER, but I was reluctant to go that route. I sent him to Walgreens, instead and he came back with some pills from the pharmacist (OTC) to take away the pain when peeing. They helped almost immediately, but I still felt like crap. This morning was more of the same, so I called the doctor on call and she called in a script for Cipro for me. Hopefully I’ll be on my way to good urinary tract health (I’ve been reading too many medicine packages! hee!) soon. I don’t do sick well.

I hate feeling like my whole life is spent in fast-forward mode and that I don’t have much time to do the things I really want to do. I got a few things accomplished this morning, but I didn’t get to do anything on my fun list - they were all business-related items like paying the bills, writing a proposal for a client, and some website administrative stuff for one of my 12-step groups. I’m glad I got them done, but it’s now after 4 pm and we are due at my parents’ house for my dad’s birthday celebration. The day (to do the things I want) is for all intents and purposes - over.

Tomorrow’s another day, though. I intend to make the most of it! I have a feeling I’m going to make the best of it to gear up for the disappointment of the Eagles vs. Cowboys game tomorrow night. Or maybe I’m just being a Negative Nellie.