Archive for the ‘The Fam’ Category

Compliments, Oh I Get Compliments

Thursday, October 21st, 2010

I’m trying out this 30 Days of Truth thing. Today is day 11. You can see where it started here.

Day 11 — Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Hands down: my organizational skills. What’s funny is this is also something that can very easily be flipped into a major flaw. Just ask the people who live with me. :-) As with anything else in my life, I tend to go to extremes with this. I’m not sure if I necessarily have Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder, but I can definitely see a lot of myself in that classification. I can also see where this trait stems from two big character defects: perfectionism & control. Those two seem to go hand in hand for me a lot. Somewhere in my psyche, I believe that if I can organize every item I own and every piece of information that crosses my path, things will be okay. Everything will be in control, and somehow perfect. Intellectually, I know this is a fallacy. I know perfection is an illusion; there’s no such thing. Yet, I still strive and yearn for it on a lot of days. The other downside to having this asset is that I can use it against myself when I’m not being particularly organized. “You’re such a sham. You’re not really organized – you just pretend to be.” The voices in my head don’t tend to be very gentle most of the time, apparently. :-)

The truth is – I am organized. For the most part. I naturally tend towards neatness. I like things orderly. I get stressed out and have a very hard time concentrating when I’m surrounded by clutter. I feel peace when everything is in its place. That’s just who I am. Living with a husband and two teenage boys has really taught me a lot of tolerance and I’ve eased quite a bit in my fastidiousness over the years. My spices are no longer in alphabetical order, for example. However, I do dream about the day when the boys are gone and I can “have my house back”. Allspice, basil, cumin, and dill – I haven’t forgotten about you.

I’ve actually even proposed a barter with a massage therapist friend of mine who has a hard time staying organized. I would come to her house & help her get organized, room-by-room and with her paperwork and computer files, etc., and in return, she’d give me massages. I think in the end she wasn’t really ready to be organized as she didn’t take me up on the offer. It’s something I might consider doing as a side job, though – because I think I’m pretty good at it. Aside from walking into chaos & clutter at the start of each job, I think it’s something I’d really enjoy doing. Wonder how big of a market there is for something like this?

Worth Living For

Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

I’m trying out this 30 Days of Truth thing. Today is day 7. You can see where it started here.

Day 07 — Someone who has made your life worth living for.

This is a complete no-brainer: my husband, Rob.

The end.

Just kidding. Let me tell you a little about that wonderful man of mine. I have been truly blessed. I’m talking blessed beyond what most women even dream about. I don’t mean to brag – these are simply truths.

First, we have the basics: he’s gorgeous, smart, sensitive, kind, caring, a great (and I do mean GREAT!) father, a very loving & dependable son, brother, and uncle, a hard worker, a fantastic lover, an incredibly gifted musician, soft-hearted, and is just generally a good man. These are all qualities I expect from anyone who’d want to be my husband (I say, as if there’s a waiting list. ha!) – and hopefully your man meets most of them, too. But Rob does more than that.

I believe – somewhere deep in my soul – Rob loves me like no one has ever loved me. He loves me like no one will ever be capable of doing. Yes, my parents love me unconditionally and will stand by me through thick and thin; I’m blessed in the parent department, too. But, the love Rob has for me is deeper, more complex – it has so many layers and flavors and depth. He loves me as a friend. He loves me as a lover. He loves me as a mother. He loves me as a mentor. He loves me as someone who needs mentoring. He loves me when I’m weak. When I’m strong. When I’m silly. When I’m serious, mean, and nice. Rob’s love is so safe, so lasting, so reassuring, so pure.

My husband is also an inspiration. He’s gone through so many tough times in his life, and he always comes out on the other side of them a better and stronger person. I’ve seen him take a licking, but I’ve never seen him completely beaten. His strength is something to be admired. Recently he fulfilled one of his long-time dreams: hiking (part of) the Appalachian Trail. He’s wanted to do this for so long, and to see him be able to accomplish something so important to him really inspired me. He is always encouraging me to do things when I think I’m incapable of doing them and seeing him do the hard stuff helps me to see that they are possible.

Rob has truly made the last 18 years worth living for. From moving to South Dakota as two young and naive kids to having children and living overseas to transitioning out of the military and watching me walk through addiction & recovery and all the times in between, he’s been my rock. I wouldn’t want to have spent the last 18 years with anyone else and I only want to spend the rest of my years with him.

Forgiving Others

Wednesday, October 6th, 2010

I’m trying out this 30 Days of Truth thing. Today is day 4. You can see where it started here.

Day 04 — Something you have to forgive someone for.

This is where it gets tricky with that whole anonymity thing I talked about in the first post of this series. I’m just not sure who is reading here and I definitely don’t want to make a tense situation worse than it already is. Let’s see how vague I can be and still get my point across.

I need to forgive someone for ignoring my kids while expecting the exact opposite behavior for their children. I know this is my issue. I know the other person is probably going about their days without this scenario even crossing their mind. If I choose to stay angry and bitter, it’s just that: my choice. But, as they say, having a resentment is like swallowing a jar of poison and expecting the other person to die. Holding onto my negativity doesn’t do a single positive thing for me. So I need to let it go and move on. And hopefully in time, I will.

Facebook & A Short Update

Sunday, December 21st, 2008

My blogging time has been drastically reduced because I seem to spend all of my fun online time hanging out on Facebook these days. Man, I love that site. I’ve reconnected with quite a few people from my past – going all the way back to elementary school. This week my best friend from high school signed up, so I’m fairly certain I’ll be there more than ever now.

In other news… I’m off from work until January 5th! That’s 16 full days off in a row. I’m really excited to have a block of time to just relax and take it easy and do all the things I would do if I were a lady who lunches. Unfortunately, I’m only off because my company imposed a forced furlough for all of that time. There’s been a rash of good news/bad news the past few weeks regarding mine and Rob’s work. Witness:

Good news:
Rob got a promotion and a huge (huge!) raise

Bad news:
My company announced a forced furlough due to the downturn in business & softening economy

Good news:
I have enough vacation days to get paid for all of my time off during the furlough

Bad news:
All employees at my company are getting a temporary (3-month) pay cut effective January 12th. The amount of the cut was based on salary and the ranges were 5-15%. I fell right in the middle there.

Good news:
I still have a job and Rob’s raise makes up for what I lost.

All in all, I’m grateful for where we are standing at the end of 2008 especially relative to where we were at the end of 2007 – both of us laid off due to our company going bankrupt and closing. I am seeing a lot of heartbreaking stories concerning people losing jobs and not having money and I know we’re among the fortunate for today. I’ll take our lot and count my blessings.

Are you all ready for the holidays?? I have a few small items to get and then need to finish up wrapping. All in all, I’m in good shape and really looking forward to the big day. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate if I don’t get back here before then!

The Flu

Tuesday, November 25th, 2008

I got my first flu shot this year. Prior to getting it, I polled everyone I knew. “Should I get the flu shot? My workplace is giving them free to all employees.” With the exception of just a few, the response was overwhelming: get the shot.

Well guess what? The majority rule are a bunch of dummies. Two weeks from the day I got that shot, I came down with the flu. It’s been two weeks since I came down with the flu and I’m still recovering. It’s been a rough month.

An aggravating result of getting the flu was the setback of my physical therapy progress. My neck and shoulders are now back to the level of pain and loss of range in motion I was experiencing 6 weeks ago. It’s pretty frustrating. It’s been 3 months since my accident. I never would have thought I’d still be feeling the effects all this time later. It’s changed my quality of life without a doubt.

Anyway, this week is Thanksgiving, and I need to focus on gratitude. I do have much to be grateful for in my life and so I’ll end this post with a gratitude list – something I haven’t done nearly enough lately.

I’m grateful for:

  • the pain in my neck, shoulders, and back – for it means I’m not paralyzed
  • my physical therapist – he is great at what he does and has an engaging personality. I enjoy my visits.
  • my sponsor – she reads my lengthy emails and listens to meandering phone calls moaning about my life’s problems and responds with love and tenderness
  • the women I sponsor – they remind me on a daily basis what a gift and miracle recovery from addiction is
  • my job – it’s definitely not something anyone can take for granted in these economic times
  • Rob’s job – he went 8 long months without one, so we definitely appreciate him being employed now
  • my immediate family – I love all three of my guys so much. The boys are so funny and different from each other, and Rob is always such a loving supporter.
  • My extended family – between my parents, my siblings, my nieces & nephews, and inlaws, I’ve got a full plate that provides me with a lot of joy most of the time.
  • Facebook and the resulting rekindling of friendships from my youth
  • the Internet, TV, and books – my three main sources of entertainment
  • Music – I’m not much of a musician, but my life has always been surrounded by music in one way or another and without it – I start to wither.

I suppose I could go on for a while, but those are the things that are really present for me today. What are you grateful for?