Whatever I Feel LikeGosh!

Today was the first day of school for my “babies” - now junior and senior high schoolers. Damn, the time goes by fast.

Connor’s bus picks him up at 6:40 (yikes!). Here he is before walking out the door.

Aric’s bus is supposed to pick him up at 7:35, but that bus apparently comes early because there was no bus in sight from 7:30 on this morning. Rob ended up taking him in. Here’s Aric looking thrilled. Ha!

It’s funny, they both hate that I take their pictures on the first day of school, but they stand there without too much fight completely resigned to their fates. They’ll both appreciate having these pictures when they’re older, though. Mark my words.

…jiggety jig.

The vacation ended on a much better note than the one I last left. After that post, the music came to town. Thursday night was Southside Johnny & The Asbury Jukes and they really brought their A game. I’ve never seen a concert where the band played continuously for 2 hours, pausing only to interact with the audience for a few moments at most. Not only were they untiring, but they were also extremely tight - Johnny would hum a bar or two and the rest of the band immediately went into a flawless rendition of each song. If you get a chance to see these guys, take it!

By Friday my neck and shoulders were feeling better and the sun came out! We spent about an hour or so in the ocean and it was beautiful. Of course, 1/2 hour after we got in the water, the clouds started rolling in; we stayed as long as we could and got out just in time. As we were walking up the beach to our condo, the rain started. It was kind of funny to see everyone leaving the beach en masse. After we got back to our apartment and changed, Rob, Connor, and I were playing a game of Uno when Aric told us there was a rainbow over the beach. He wasn’t kidding - this was one of the most amazing rainbows I’ve ever seen in my life. It was a small rainbow - spanning just the width of our condominium building and little more - but that was part of why it was so spectacular. And after a few minutes, a double rainbow appeared.

I took about 20 pictures of this rainbow because I really felt it was signifying a change for the better for us. Maybe I’m a dreamer, but I’ll take what I can get. Here are some more rainbow pics [don't worry, I didn't upload them all].

Friday night was the first night of the Verizon Wireless American Music Festival where a number of bands play in 3-4 different locations all along the beachfront. We chose to see The Influence and The BoDeans. Rob and I both really enjoyed The Influence. They’re a local Virginia Beach band with a heavy Pearl Jam influence. The BoDeans were sharp as anything - I don’t think a single person missed a note or a space in any song. They entertained the heck out of the crowd, but the crowd proved to be too much for us. It was hot - no ocean breeze blowing - and people were getting drunker and stupider by the minute. We decided to leave and walked down to catch the end of Starship’s performance. We were both glad we picked the concert we did because from what we heard of Starship, we weren’t impressed at all.

Saturday night was the Billy Idol concert that we planned on going to, but ended up not getting there. We were just tired and wore out and not in the mood for dealing with a huge, drunken crowd again. We did some last minute shopping for souvenirs and gifts with my mom then listened to a couple of songs from Eddie Money and Warrant. Both were equally bad. Embarrassingly bad. The cool thing was that as we walked down Atlantic Avenue between 24th and 31st street, we heard Billy Idol’s opening song, “Eyes Without a Face” - his stage was all the way down on 5th street! I can’t imagine how loud that concert must have been up close. Rob already blew an ear drum at the Southside Johnny concert, so he would have been in no shape to handle the sheer volume of Billy Idol. I’m still a little bummed that we didn’t make it, though. From what we heard in the distance, he sounded awesome. I need to look for some reviews and pictures of that concert online - I know they must exist.

We came home on Sunday and I think it’s safe to say that everyone - kids included - were ready to be homeward bound. I’ll write more details and post more pics of the trip in the coming days. This post is long enough. I’ll leave you with one of my favorite photos from the trip - view it in large size for complete awesomeness.

Well, we’re here in Virginia Beach after a mostly uneventful ride down in our rented Dodge Caravan. It was actually a pretty comfortable ride all things considered.

My neck and shoulders were in some pretty intense pain by the time we finally arrived, though. I succumbed to tears a few times on the ride down. The pain and visions of a vacation with limited activity really started to get to me. When we went to the grocery store after arriving, my dad showed me a neck support with an enclosed hot/cold gel pack that he thought would be perfect for me. He was right - this thing made such a difference in my comfort level. Since the muscles in my entire neck took a beating, I needed the support in a bad way. I was finally able to lie down on the bed after strapping this puppy on - bliss.

Yesterday the whole family sans me and Connor went down to the beach. Rob, Aric, and my dad had a blast in the water. My mom did her usual sunbathing thing. Around noon I couldn’t take it any more. I threw my bathing suit on and told Connor to accompany me down to the beach. I was able to walk into the ocean up to my ankles, but that was it. I am usually the girl who is in the water the entire day, diving into each wave as it hits. There’s not much more I enjoy in the entire world than frolicking in the ocean. Standing there at the shoreline watching the other people taking my place in the water just about broke my heart.

I didn’t stay at the beach long since it was close to lunch time by the time I made it down there. All six of us made our way back up to the condo for lunch followed by naps for almost the entire crew. Apparently the undertow and rip currents were really strong in the water, and the three guys got really beat up out there.

While everyone napped and Connor Facebooked, Aric and I went for a walk. I was determined to not stay cooped up in the room, pain be damned. We walked for about a half mile and stopped at Starbucks. We hit a couple other stores including the most awesome health food store I’ve ever visited in my life, and then headed back to our place because the pain was starting to become unbearable. We were gone for an hour and I had to do some major icing on my shoulders, back, and neck when we returned.

We decided ahead of time that we were going to eat most of our meals in on this trip to save money. It’s amazing how fast the dining out bills add up when you’re on vacation. So I prepared a menu for the week prior to the trip. Sunday’s planned dinner was baked ziti, garlic bread, and salad for the family. (I had my “abstinent pizza” recipe.) It was fun to all pitch in making our meals. Dad cooked breakfast, I prepared lunch, and Rob made dinner. After dinner, we all went out walking on Atlantic Ave and the boardwalk. I wore my neck brace this time - there was no way I was going to make it very far without it. We saw and heard some great street musicians, as usual, did some light shopping, stopped at Dairy Queen, and rode the Wave back to our condo. Once there, we watched fireworks over the ocean from our balcony.

Right now, Rob, Aric, and my parents are out on the Rudee Rocket boat ride. Connor didn’t want to go and I couldn’t go because of my injuries. I’m not sure what the rest of the day holds.

All in all, not a terrible time - but I’m fighting feelings of depression because of my physical limitations. I’m just not used to being restricted like this. I’m determined to not let it get me down, though, and to enjoy this trip as much as I possibly can.

Rob put up pictures from the accident on his blog. My car doesn’t look too bad in the pictures; it’s hard to see that the damage goes clear back to both front doors on the vehicle. He didn’t post any pictures of the back - but it’s not in too bad of shape back there considering that was the initial impact. Since it’s a newer car (2007), it would have taken around $25K worth of damage to declare it totalled. I’m not sure how much it will cost to replace just about every part on the entire front end, some parts on the back, and fixing the engine damage, but apparently it’s less than $25K.

The car that hit me was a 1995 Maxima. I’m not sure what value it holds, but I think there’s a good chance that car might be totalled from the looks of it.

I’m extremely sore today. It’s hard to move my neck from side to side and there’s just general achiness throughout my neck, shoulders, and upper back area. :-( I hope I’m not too uncomfortable for the car ride down to Virginia Beach. I’ll be stocked with my medicine and ice packs, that’s for sure!

It’s so hard to start blogging again after a prolonged period of not doing so. It’s like after so much time passes, how do you determine what qualifies as worthy of the return to form? You can’t just come back with some inane ramblings. Of course, I plan to do just that, so maybe you can.

The past couple of days have been interesting, especially compared to my otherwise pretty simple and uncomplicated existence. I hesitate to describe my life as “boring” because that sounds so drab and I don’t feel like my life is boring at all, even though it probably isn’t terribly exciting to the casual observer. Still, though, I go to bed with a feeling of fullness and satisfaction for the events that transpired the previous 16 hours more often that not.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to perform in a video shoot for work. I had a non-speaking role of a “stylish soccer mom” who demonstrated some features inside of a minivan and of a cellphone. Calling this acting might be a bit of a stretch, however, I believe I was bitten by the bug. I am now (with extreme encouragement from my sponsor and other key people in my life) looking to pursue this further. At this point, I’d be happy to just do commercials or videos similar to yesterdays - I am just not sure how to get started. If I’m honest with you (and myself), I’ve wanted to do something like this my entire life. I’ve just always dismissed the thought immediately after thinking, “I’d love to be an actress or model or something like that.” What followed was usually something like this: “Yeah, right. You’re not good enough to do that. Who would want you? You’re too tall. You’re uncoordinated. Your nose is too big. You’re too fat. You don’t have the talent. You don’t have the ‘it’ factor. You don’t have the sheer chutzpah and stage presence required. Everyone will laugh at you. Wanting to do this is conceited and ego-centric.” The voice goes on and on. I never really stopped to reflect on any of it, always choosing instead to listen to the negative self-talk and pushing these “crazy” thoughts out of my head. Being in front of that camera and working with a director yesterday, however, made me stop in my tracks because of how natural it felt and how much I enjoyed it. So stay tuned. I’m sure the path will be filled with sputtering starts and screeching stops, but I’m going to walk on it anyway. Who knows, maybe I’ll even run.

In other news, I discovered a painful lump in my left breast yesterday. In hindsight, there’s been something wrong for a couple of months. I remember I mentioned to Rob that my breasts looked fuller - at least one did. DUH! More recently, that boob has been spilling out of my bra cup. I just thought it was my new bras and almost bought new ones yesterday! Also, for a while now, whenever Rob has “copped a feel”, I’ve hollered in pain. I didn’t realize it was just the one boob, YK? And I didn’t think much about it, choosing to think he was being too rough on my gentle self. Poor Rob. Anyway, I went to my GYN today and she confirmed the lump, but also confirmed what my friend Google told me: most painful lumps are just benign cysts. She ordered a bilateral diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound on the left breast and I’m waiting for a call back now to confirm that appointment. I’ll keep you all updated. I was hoping to get in tomorrow since we leave for vacation on Saturday, but I’m not sure that will happen.

Speaking of vacation - we’re headed back to Virginia Beach! I’m thrilled and can’t wait to spend a week at one of my favorite places in the entire world. Sun, fun, and relaxation here we come.