I just haven’t felt the urge to blog the past couple of months. I guess times of turmoil and drastic change bring out the isolation and hermit in me. I’d rather retreat quietly to my cave and lick my wounds to reemerge after a period of healing than to stand in public and announce my trials and struggles. Thank you all for the wonderful comments and emails of support, I really do appreciate it. I even (kinda) appreciate all the comments of support from people who are obviously just trying to get a link back to their sites.

To update those of you who I don’t communicate with outside of this blog - I started a new job this past Monday. I actually landed the job the last day of work at the other place, which made for an easier departure. I’m now working for a pretty large company that manufactures all sorts of manly things like screws and locks and hinges and the like. It’s an excellent, global company that has been around for over 100 years, providing me with a pretty deep sense of security. I now have the means to financially plan for the future with a generous 401K and retirement plan in place.

As pleased as I am with the company, though, it still sucks to start a new job. And there are blows to my ego with this position, too. I’ve taken a step down in title and responsibility, but not in pay, so that eases the blow a bit. I no longer have an office, which really, really, really sucks - however hardly anyone has an office there. The corporate culture is radically different than what I’m used to. I feel better when I meet with higher ups who have been with the company for 10+ years who don’t have an office, but the fact remains that I still miss mine very much. The other thing I have to get used to is the commute. I was traveling 3 miles to work each day previously. Today, it’s 39 miles one way. That’s quite an adjustment. I’m trying to make the best of it by listening to a combination of phone calls, good music, and compelling talk radio. I listened to my first ever Christian radio talk show the other day on FM and I just loved it. I want to try some books on tape, as well, to see how that works for me.

All in all, I know I made the right decision with this job. I had 2 other offers on the table, and I chose this one because my heart was telling me (loudly) that I needed to go there. I knew the minute I pulled up to the building the first time I went there for an interview that this was going to be the place. I couldn’t believe it because the whole time I was driving there, I was of the mindset that I’d never take this job because the commute is so long, but that I’d go there to get some more interview experience under my belt. Joke was on me, apparently.

Rob is still looking for something permanent. He’s got a couple of side jobs for right now, so we’re okay financially until spring - so hopefully in the next few weeks, he’ll land a permanent gig, too.

Now that I’ve gotten the first post (after a hiatus) over, maybe it will be easier to post here on a more consistent basis again. I guess time will tell!

I keep meaning to get over here and post this, but the past two days have been fabulously crazy.

You all will never guess what happened on Thursday. I was sitting on my couch in my pajamas, it was already around 11:30 in the morning and I was just planning on taking it real easy my first day of being laid off when the phone rang. It was my boss. She said, “Do you want to come back and help us close this place down?” I said, “Are you kidding me???”

Apparently there was some web stuff that the owner needed done and he asked Rob why it wasn’t being done. Rob said to him, “Um, because you laid off Amy???” The owner was like, “What? No! She shouldn’t have been let go! Can you get her to come back in??” So I was mistakenly laid off early. Is that a trip or what? Which meant I had to get up and get dressed and stuff to go into work Thursday afternoon. Good times.

In the meantime, I was also working with three different recruiters as well as a couple of other prospects, one of which asked to see my portfolio. Portfolio??? Ha! I had nothing of the sort, so I had to put that together. It was hard finding a few of the things that I had worked on over the years to give screen shots. And after I completed it I realized I had at least 2 more things I could have added to it before sending. I guess the next company will get to see those, if need be.

Everything is so surreal right now. Going into the office is like walking through a ghost town with all the empty offices and cubicles - and the few remaining employees’ office contents are all boxed up, too. It’s weird to be at work and openly talking about the job search. “Did you get any calls today on your resume?” “I’ve got an interview!” “Oh, be right back, this is a recruiter calling!” Strange days, indeed.

I’ve got my first interview on Monday at 10 am. I didn’t have a suit in my size since the last time I had to wear business attire was 3 or 4 years ago and I’ve lost probably 20-30 pounds since then. Thankfully my mom’s next door neighbor is an expert seamstress and has time to alter the suit for me. I ran it over to New Jersey last night and got fitted so I won’t look completely frumpy on Monday. I haven’t been on in interview in over 8 years. I’m nervous! But, I’m also really, really, really excited. Having been in the position of interviewing lots of people for jobs over the past 5 years, I think I have a fair shot at this. But, wish me luck anyway, okay? What I really want is to have a few different jobs to choose from so I can make the best choice for me. I want these employers fighting over me, damn it! And they should. Because, well, I rock. HA!

Stay tuned.

Well, the unthinkable (and some might say - inevitable) happened today: my company announced it is closing its doors January 4th, and I was laid off. Since I’m the Internet Marketing Manager, there really isn’t a big need for my position as they close up shop. Rob and my sister (yes, we all worked there!) will remain there until the end, helping them liquidate all of their supplies.

I’m remarkably okay with the events of the day. Sure, there is an underlying feeling of fear, but I’m concentrating on not focusing on that. I’ve got a lot of irons in the fire and I’m confident that I will land on my feet. Perhaps something even better will come along! I’ve got an impressive skill set and resume thanks to the last 8 years at this company, and any new company will be lucky to have me.

Some of the positives right now are that I’ll be able to be home with the kids on their holiday break, I’ll get to finally go visit my friend and her triplets that were born in September that I haven’t had a chance to see yet, I’ll be able to get to daytime meetings, I’ll be able to get some much-needed exercise and meditation time in, I’ll be able to decorate and wrap for Christmas without stressing over the lack of time to get it all done. I’m going to enjoy these last few weeks of December in the hopes that I’ll look back on this experience with fondness.

All that doesn’t mean I’m not filled with an overwhelming sadness, though. I am so sad. So sad. I loved my job. I loved my boss. I loved what I did. I loved my office. I loved the people I worked with every day. I loved the short commute. I loved the flexibility I was afforded. I loved all of it. Sure, there were rough days and there was a pervading sickness in the company’s high-level management, but I was able to get past all that because of my love for the day-to-day things. I will miss that job. Hopefully when I’ve moved on to my next career choice, though, I will realize that I should have left long ago and I won’t hardly miss it at all.

I’m remaining positive - for today, at least. There might very well be an entry here tomorrow where I’m freaking out. I’m told my emotions are going to be all over the map for the foreseeable future. I guess that’s your fair warning!

I know it’s almost a week after Thanksgiving, but I was reminded yesterday of all the things I have to be grateful for and I don’t want to forget them. The company I work for is not doing well financially. Business is way down and people’s jobs are now being affected. We came in yesterday to the news of more layoffs for some, forced part time hours for most everyone else. What a thing to happen right before the holidays. Thankfully, Rob and I were not affected in this round and our jobs are still intact. I went through so much fear yesterday, and it was pointed out to me that I still had my job, exactly as it has been and that I should be grateful. It’s true. And that helped to shift my thinking dramatically.

I realized last night as I was trying to drift off to sleep that I do have so much to be grateful for in my life. I need to focus on those things, and not give such life to all the fear and negativity. I’ve got a roof over my head, food - good, healthy and sometimes expensive food at that - in my kitchen, a family that loves me to pieces, friends that adore me, a job that pays well, a car that gives me joy to drive, a relationship with a Higher Power that provides me intense comfort, a closet full of totally cute clothes, and all the creature comforts I could ask for. I could sit here and list things for hours, I’m sure. The point is, my life is good - damn good. And no matter what happens at my current place of employment, I’m going to be just fine. Better than fine, even. I’m going to be spectacular!

As promised - a recap of my trip to Google’s NYC office for an event geared towards advertisers in the health and fitness arenas (me! yay).

After a comedy of errors trying to get out of town, I drove up on Tuesday night to stay at the Hotel Ganesvoort courtesy of Google. This place was totally swanky and hip and surprisingly busy at almost 11 o’clock on an early weeknight. I couldn’t believe the amount of activity around the entire hotel area, but it definitely added to the whole hip factor. Obviously I was in a happening spot, yo! Too bad it was past my bed time. I took a few pictures, got settled in, and was soon snuggled up in the luxurious bed. Morning came quickly, but I wasn’t complaining because I was excited to visit the big G for the first time.

Since I drove, I had to find parking. That turned out to not be a problem at all because there’s a garage directly below Google’s building. I just parked in there and hiked my way back up to the street level to get into the building. I was slightly annoyed and surprised that there was no elevator right from the garage into the building, but once I actually got inside the building and saw the massive amounts of security, I understood it better. The organizers for the event I was attending were handing out name tags to those on the roster so we could get through security. Once in, we were given guest badges to wear for the duration of our stay in the building. Every person in the building had a badge on - and there was plenty of security to enforce the wearing of such. I think the amount of security and maintenance personnel on site might have been my biggest surprise of the whole experience, but only because I had already read about the amazing 8th floor restaurant - Hemispheres.

I’m getting ahead of myself a bit, though. The event itself was extremely well put together. As I write this, I’m reminded that I haven’t filled out the satisfaction survey that was sent around afterwards - I need to do that because the Health team really did an excellent job of putting everything together. The first half of the morning was spent listening to some passionate members of the team talk about the different ways Google can help us grow our businesses and drive sales. All of the speakers were engaging, and left me excited for the rest of the day. The second half of the morning we were treated to a more in-depth look at six of Google’s properties: Analytics, YouTube, GadgetAds, and, Newspaper, Audio, and Print Advertising. A lot of the information I got was mind blowing and a bit overwhelming; I was wishing my entire department was with me to ask the questions I didn’t think to ask.

Lunch was held in the aforementioned Hemispheres restaurant on the 8th floor - where I was just blown away. When you get off the elevator, you’re greeted by a huge sunken wall refrigerated case full of just about every type of drink you could imagine. There were multiples flavors of seltzer there, which just tickled me all kinds of pink. And when I say this refrigerated case is huge, I mean it is about the length of my living room, maybe a little longer. On the wall behind the case are pictures of the current world-renowned chefs and their schedules to be cooking on site. Unbelievable.

Inside, the restaurant is set up cafeteria style with different stations for all the culinary delights. First stop for me was the grill. Some people around me ordered hamburgers and I watched as the cook put fresh patties on the grill for each order. I got some steak sans au jus and headed to a very well-stocked salad bar next. I walked around a bit trying to find a suitable starch before I laid my eyes on the holy grail - Chili Spiced Sweet Potatoes. I had never heard of such a thing and I want to kiss the chef who thought of it because they were just delicious. I tried to replicate them tonight, but wasn’t exactly what I’d call successful. Anyway, once I had my lunch assembled, I got to be further wowed by the condiment station. How can one company be so cool at every.single.thing they do? I mean, seriously. So, we had lunch - looking out on the city from the wall-to-wall windows and then put our trays on the neatest lazy-Susan conveyor belt thingie and headed back to our meeting.

The afternoon session was pretty light compared to the morning and I headed out not long after getting back from lunch. We were treated to an overview of Google Trends, as well as some other cool things brewing in the Google Labs. I wanted to stay for a week to soak up all of the innovative ideas running rampant in that building. Alas, I had to leave - and once I left the magic of Google, bad things happened. Well, a bad thing, specifically - a stupid accident! Some stupid jerk swerved into my car on the NJ Turnpike. That was a sucky way to end an otherwise awesome day.